What stage of living in Thailand are you in? Jean Piaget, the Swiss psychologist, told us that we all live through four stages of development when we are growing up. We go through infancy, pre-school, childhood and adolescence. If we pass through these four stages successfully, and don't get stuck in one, we can grow into happy adjusted adults.

Like the four stages that Piaget talks about for children there are also four stages of living in Thailand. All of us who have decided to settle down here must pass through these stages if we are going to be happy in our new homes. Unfortunately some of us get stuck at a stage. If this happens then we may never be really happy living here.

The wonder stage

Most people's first impression of Thailand is one of wonder. Wonder at the climate, the tastes, the smells and the sounds. Wonder at the physical beauty of the beaches, rivers, jungles and mountains, not to mention the physical beauty and friendliness of its smiling people.

Whether you spend your wonder stage exploring the peaceful temples or frequenting the pulsating nightlife it is this stage that usually hooks a person to coming back to Thailand again and again. For some of us it is this time when we decide that Thailand just might be a place to settle down for a while, or maybe for the rest of our lives. Most tourists are stuck at the wonder stage so when they return home they talk of the wonders of Thailand without seeing the whole picture.

The culture shock stage

When one decides to live in Thailand the wonder stage is usually quickly followed by the culture shock stage. For some this is simply a melancholy homesickness. But for others culture shock is a severe psychological blow. Everything that was new and exciting is now strange and unusual. Those wonderful smells and tastes turn into gastro-intestinal problems. The warm tropical climate is now simply oppressive heat. Are those people smiling at me or laughing at me? Depression hits hard. Happily, this stage usually passes quickly, either because we adapt or we go home.

The complaining stage

It is easy to spot someone at this stage. They're the ones who have lived here a while and can't wait to tell you how bad things are. The beer sucks, the traffic sucks, the government sucks, the internet is too slow, the music is too loud, everyone is corrupt. People who would never be able to afford domestic help in their home country now complain about how lazy their maids are. Lots of web logs are filled with farang complaints. Sadly, the majority of the Old Asia Hands one encounters at the local watering holes are stuck at this complaining stage.

The acceptance stage

The name of this stage is self explanatory. If you have made it to this stage you are probably happy living here and accept Thailand's idiosyncrasies. A story told by Peace Corps volunteers illustrates the acceptance stage. A Peace Corps volunteer comes to Thailand and orders a bowl of noodles. He finds a fly in the bowl and angrily calls the waiter and demands another bowl. The second year he gets a bowl of noodles with a fly, scoops the fly out and continues eating. The third year he doesn't even notice the fly.

May you all reach the stage of acceptance and not even notice the fly.



Send your questions on retirement to Thailand to: retirement@chiangmaicitylife.com.