Tarzan English

Something mysterious happens to the English language of many farang when they disembark their airplanes and step onto Thai soil. Their grammar disappears. Articles like 'a' and 'the' cease to be used; verb inflections like 's', 'ed', and 'ing' become nonexistent; plurals and prepositions vanish; and word order goes the-window-out. They start saying the equivalent of 'Me Tarzan, you Supaporn'. They begin speaking Tarzan English.

So recently when I overheard a very educated American I know answering the question of where his wife was, this is what I heard. "She go market, buy ice cream me." The Thai person he was talking to had a master's degree from an American university and spoke flawless English. For an old English teacher like I used to be, it was like listening to fingernails on a blackboard.

Tarzan English probably comes from the good intentions of the speaker thinking that he/she is making it easier for the listener to understand by taking out those superfluous little words like articles, those silly word endings, and those nasty prepositions, not to mention those unnecessary tenses.

Turning to me, my educated friend told me about his wife, "She have new motorcycle. She buy yesterday." Now he was speaking Tarzan English to me. I think I probably would have just as easily understood "She bought a new motorcycle yesterday." A broken English sentence is no easier to understand than a correct one is, even for non-native speakers.

This dumbing down English saw widespread use in Thailand during the Vietnam War. Thai 'working girls' developed their own language to help with their 'business'. An American GI on R&R would walk the Bangkok streets and constantly hear, "Hey you, Farang. Where you go? Where are you come from?" Guess where the girls learned their English? Great teachers those GIs. Some current expats are not much better.

Good intentions sometimes have unintended consequences. Dumbing down English does not make it easier to understand. But one unintended consequence of using English shortcuts is that our Thai friends will speak back to us in dumb English. Farang husband, "I not like eating sticky rice every day." Thai Wife, "OK, I not cooking dinner you anymore." Maybe if the farang husband didn't speak Tarzan English he would get the food he likes.

Over the years thousands of conscientious English teachers and other expats have worked hard helping Thai students use correct grammar. And then the first time the Thai student speaks with a native English speaker he might hear something like, "Me like live Thailand."

Wouldn't it be simpler to speak to our Thai friends and loved ones in better English? Maybe just slow it down a bit. It probably takes less effort on our part to say, "She's going." than to force our mouths to produce the unnatural "She go.", or "I'm not hungry" instead of "I no hungry". One of the best gifts one can give to the people of Thailand and the country as a whole is to help them speak in good, grammatically correct English. And that starts with our eschewing Tarzan English and taking the time to speak correctly and be a good example. This is especially true when you are speaking of the person who is nice enough to be "going TO the market TO buy ice cream FOR YOU."